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Sonnet
24 November 2016 @ 05:11 pm
TURKEY'S DONE!! AND ALBLKAJALDFKBAGHLKHAD

I'M SO TIRED.

I feel like I had better control of the situation last year??  Is that a lie I tell myself to convince myself to do it again the next year around?  This year felt like CHAOS, and I just couldn't get into the groove of things and then SUDDENLY EVERYTHING WAS FINISHING AND I HAVE NO SPACE TO PUT THINGS.

My lovely set of glass mixing bowls are getting a good workout today.  A lot of recipes, aside from just having mixing elements, also are like, "okay, now that you're finished, put it in a bowl and set it aside for later."  And then the next element is, "Okay, and now that you've finished step 2, also put that in a bowl and set it aside." And I'm like, "RECIPE HOW MUCH COUNTERSPACE DO YOU THINK I HAVE??"  Answer: not much.  I've started using the washing machine.

Now I'm just waiting for my Brussels sprouts to finish cooking, and then I'm taking a SHOWER.  Because when you make your own crunchy onions for the green bean casserole you get COVERED IN OIL (due to the fact that you have to fry them.  Not due to the fact that the recipe calls for rubbing yourself in oil).  In all the chaos I almost forgot to make the sprouts.  (Actually, more accurately, I forgot that I have what is essentially two ovens.  And I was like--I have to wait for the turkey to finish before I start these! which is not true at all.)

OH MY GOSH, OKAY.  And they're done!  Gotta go!  Hope everyone else's Turkey Day was excellent!
 
 
Sonnet
24 November 2016 @ 01:56 pm
FUCK YOU SHALLOTS

MY EYES

ARRRRRGH

MOLLY YOU BETTER LOVE ME EXTRA HARD TODAY THIS PAIN IS FOR YOU

("Hey guys," I said. "I'm thinking of just making Brussels sprouts this year, instead of green bean casserole."
"That's cool," said Megan and Kelly.
"Yeah, that's cool," said Molly, and then made a sadface.
"Wait, what was that?" I asked.
"Nothing," Molly said.
But it was too late, for I had seen the sadface and that meant I was not making Brussels sprouts AND green bean casserole.  And the Casserole requires shallots.  That was the point of that story.)

Also, while buying pre-chopped mushrooms are super convenient, the slices tend to range from huge to FUCKING GIGANTIC OMG HOW BIG WAS THE WHOLE MUSHROOM WAS IT A MUTANT OR IS THE END OF DAYS COMING??

What that means is that I've stood over my pan for about the last three minutes or so STABINATING THE HELL OUT OF THEM with the sharp edge of my wooden spoon to reduce them into more reasonable chunks.  Theraputic!
 
 
Sonnet
24 November 2016 @ 01:03 pm
Heeeeeey, while cleaning I found the brussel sprouts I lost last night during prep.

On the one hand, yay no brussel sprout stealing gremlins live in my house.

On the other hand, boo no brussel sprout stealing gremlins live in my house (that would've been interesting).

Also HOW DO YOU MOP.

I haven't figured out a pattern of laying down the wet that doesn't immediately make me have to walk back over it and leav tracks.  ADULTING HOW DO.

Also, BURN #1.  So, aparently, the largest burning is a little larger than the pot I'm using to boil potatoes and WHAT THAT MEANS is that when I picked the pot up to move it to the sink, the HANDLE WAS CRAZY HOT.  *sadface*

Kelly is making her traditional apetizers of olive-and-cream-cheese mix w/celery. THANK GOD because I am starving and am going to eat it all.

The turkey has no giblets which means a) the gravy is going to be store bought and b) I don't have any bits to snack on, so the apetizers are necessary.  OKAY BACK TO WORK.
 
 
Sonnet
24 November 2016 @ 12:50 pm
Okay, you bastards, I'm up.

(and by 'you bastards' I mean the world at large, and not any of my lovely friends)

So I had leg cramps all night, which on the one hand means HSSSS STUPID SUNLIGHT; WHY MUST YOU HURT ME MORNING

OH IT'S AFTERNOON? WELL FUCK YOU TOO

But on the other hand, it means that I got a lot of prep work done, and Kelly was kind enough to get up in the ACTUAL morning (boo hiss) and get a lot of the rest of it done as well.  SO.  All the brussel sprouts (SO MANY) are prepped and the green beans (2 LBS BECAUSE WHAT IS RESTRAINT), and the yams are almost finished boiling and then they will have to be peeled and cubed.

I'm cleaning the house because I've just realized I'm LIVING IN FILTH.  And I'm listening to bits and pieces of the Moana soundtrack which is amazing.  So.  How's your morning going?

(IT'S STILL MORNING SHUT UP)
 
 
Sonnet
26 November 2015 @ 02:07 pm


Now to head into a flurry of endgame activity!  See you on the flipside!
 
 
 
Sonnet
26 November 2015 @ 12:22 pm
Self, WHY do you have 5 different jars of cloves??

Okay, so no carrots for the gravy, and all my onions are reserved for other things, so I used the left over shallots.  I'm sure that'll be fine...

ALSO, almost set my house on fire, as per tradition.  This time, it was because New Oven is a double decker, and I have hand towels dangling off the upper handle, but it turns out they dangle just low enough that I managed to shut one of them into the bottom oven where the turkey is cooking.  BUT EVERYTHING'S OKAY HERE.  I saved it.  The towel is only lightly browned.
 
 
Sonnet
26 November 2015 @ 12:04 pm
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED CUTTING A TURKEY NECK IN HALF?? HAVE YOU???

You probably have, because you're a chef and stuff, but OH MY GOD.  Thank god I have a meat cleaver.
 
 
Sonnet

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!

I did a lot of the prep work yesterday, so I'm mostly finished with the candied yams and the green bean casserole.  This year, we're eating over at Megan (thechildoftime) and Molly's (minerva710) house, since they live right across the street, now, and they have an actual dining room table.

I don't have a dining room table because I'M AN ADULT AND I MAKE MY OWN CHOICES, and if I want to put my desk and computer where the table is probably supposed to go I CAN.

ANYWAY.  This year, I put myself in charge of the turkey, the yams and the green beans and I also have Brussels sprouts for roasting (LOOK HOW ADULT I AM I'M WILLINGLY EATING BRUSSEL SPROUTS), but those should be quick, so I haven't cooked them, yet.  I finished the bulk of the casseroles so that I can take them over to Megan and Molly's later and finish them over there.  ("Finishing" being mostly just putting things on top and putting them in the oven to brown a bit and warm back up.)

I woke up early to start the turkey, and it's in the oven!  This year, I'm staying true to Alton Brown's recipe, because I've tried turkey a bunch of ways, and his is, so far, the best I've had (that I can cook successfully, anyway).

Here are my recipes:

Turkey
(and at the last minute I'm going to attempt this gravy.  I don't have all the ingredients--because I literally JUST DECIDED to do this, so it's not going to be exact, but I'm STILL GONNA TRY.)

Yams (This is the first time I've tried this recipe, but I tasted it last night, and it's SO GOOD.  I've never thought of sautéing the yams in butter to cook them.  It cooked fast and it looks AMAZING.  I mean, I'm using about triple the recipe and it still took less than an hour to cook everything.  I added cinnamon and nutmeg as per many of the review suggestions, and I'm finishing them off in the oven with the traditional marshmellows.  Since everything is very vague in this recipe, if you attempted it, what I did was get the pot hot on high--because I'm hella impatient--and then reduce it to medium heat so that all the sugar didn't burn.  When you first put everything in the pot, it doesn't look like there's going to be enough liquid to cook everything, but there will be, trust me!)

Green Beans (everybody listen to me. SHUSH AND LISTEN TO ME.  This is the BEST green bean casserole recipe I have EVER HAD.  I'm pretty sure you could use regular flour instead of gluten free flour and it could come out as good.  TRY THIS. SERIOUSLY.  Most of the people I eat with don't really care for green bean casserole BUT THEY LIKED THIS ONE.  It sounds complicated and it IS more work than just making it from cans, but I don't think it's that hard, really, and it's WORTH IT.)

Brussels sprouts

AAAANNND, burn number one!  It's my first year using my new oven (which is very shiny and I love it) and a meat probe, so in shuffling around the new configuration I managed to burn myself on the probe.  Ah well.  BATTLE SCARS!!

The turkey is in the second stage, and I'm going to start prepping the crispy onions.  Hope everyone else's day is going well!! <3

(also OMG LIVEJOURNAL where the HELL is your spell check??)

 
 
Sonnet
27 November 2014 @ 03:16 pm
FINDING ICE ON THANKSGIVING DAY = HELLA DIFFICULT
 
 
Sonnet
27 November 2014 @ 12:50 pm
The turkey is in!  Plus: First burn of the day, taking out the top rack in the oven, which I always forget about until I try to put a 20+ lbs turkey in.  Joining us this year are special guests: serafaina and mizunol, up from Savannah, GA, to be joined later by thechildoftime and minerva710 with nightwalker reprising her role of Patient Roommate and Provider of Breakfast (scrambled eggs and cinnamon rolls!).

I have to go to Walmart to get buttermilk, but first I'm waiting for the turkey's first 1/2 hour at 500 degrees to be done.  This year, I'm going back to Alton Brown's Good Eats Roast Turkey, brining and all.  I did not get all the cleaning done that I wanted to yesterday, which is on par for the course, so while I cook I'm also going to do some tidying.  This year's adventures: New Sweet Potato recipe and a gluten-free Green Bean Casserole in which I will have to make the crispy onions myself.  Wish me luck!