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Story Title: You Can Leave Your Cape On
Fandom: Marvel (mostly MCU and some 616 comics continuity)/DC (mostly Batman: the animated series and other cartoon cannons, plus some comics) mash-up
Alternative Link(s): AO3 | tumblr
Rating: NC-17 for explicit sex
Summary: He hasn't seen or heard from Bruce in six years and the asshole is just going to pretend like they have nothing to say to one another. Or maybe he honestly thinks that Tony can't tell, doesn't know who exactly is behind the mask, and isn't that just completely insulting? Tony may not be cognizant enough to put one foot in front of the other with any consistency but his mind, even strapped into the hell's amusement park whirly-gig of benzodiazepines, is coherent enough to do basic math.

Tony will always know Bruce. That is the simplest equation in the world.

Warnings: there's hinted-at darkness, but this is mostly fluff, much to my embarrassment, non-graphic child abuse/allusions to child abuse, cannon character deaths, Howard is unkind and Maria isn't much better, so if you have any love for those two characters I would respectfully suggest you skip this story, also, sections of this story are NOT BETA'D because I changed my mind and re-wrote some things without giving my beta enough time to look through it when I was done.
Pairings: Bruce Wayne/Tony Stark
GORGEOUS ART!!! part 2

This art is SO BEAUTIFUL, that I can't even.  My story pales in comparison.

Story Parts: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue

YCKYCO - small banner

Tony Stark is ABSOLUTELY NOT Batman's Lois Lane.Collapse )
28 November 2013 @ 05:19 pm
Molly here reporting on all the Turkey Day news.  Megan and I are joining the festivities for the first time this year since we're actually in town and Sonnet invited us.*  Megan and Sonnet have decided to try Black Turkey.  Just Google that.  I'll wait.  Actually you might not want to since it's too late for you to make it yourself.  Anyway, this is some Mad Turkey Science going on.  they've been at it since 11:30 and I don't think it's even stuffed yet.  It needs foreplay.  Lots of foreplay, before you stuff it.  It has about 15 spices, three kinds of fruit and the zest of two more, an entire loaf of bread, two other kinds of meat, the rendered fat of a sad dragon with no friends and probably a six-point racing harness.  My point is, it's a pretty involved way to roast a carcass but enthusiasm remains high.

I've been to the store once so far.  I think we're at at least one trip each.  It was quiet but it looked like the scenes from Life After People: one week after people.  I thanked the cashier for letting me buy the sodas I forgot and some Monster Rehabs for the cook.

When I got back from Kroger the house had progressed along the Holiday Smell Scale from We Just Cleaned Everything to Intriguing and Sonnet and Megan were doing things to the vile turkey neck.  Things were being chopped, ground, and zested.  I helped out by liberally peppering the turkey's various orifices and providing sexual innuendos before retreating to the living room to cruise Tumblr and eat hors d'ouevres.  I should confess that I am the kind of guest who, when asked what I was going to bring for Thanksgiving, said "Wine?"  But I'm on deck to peel potatoes later.  MASH ALL THE POTATOES.

Update: Megan just finished mushing ground veal, breadcrumbs, egg yolks and god knows what else into paste.  Girl looks fine in an apron.  I would do this like the Food Network commentators on Iron Chef but the answer to all my questions would be "Up the turkey's ass" and "Get out of the way".

Update: No matter what you may have heard, or smelled, nothing is technically on fire.  The turkey is totally fine and under control.

Update: The Holiday Smell Scale is at What's On Fire but it's just the spice rub.  The extensive basting process has begun.

Update: That wasn't basting.  Pasting.  The spice paste is now applied.  Basting begins when the paste runs out.

Update: Yeah so there was supposed to be flour in that.  More like a glaze right now.


And at that point I died and handed the holiday over to others.  Rest In Peace Molly.

*Actually Sonnet told me like 3 years that we were welcome if we wanted to come and she never amended that.  Like Vikings spotting an undefended coastline, we have arrived.
14 March 2013 @ 04:13 pm
Clint's voice was a low and intimate murmur in Tony's ear. "How do you feel about gags?"

"Is that code for something or are you just really bored?" Tony eyed Clint from across the room, regretting for the first time the amount of effort he'd put in the comlinks. No one needed to hear Clint's crystal clear bedroom voice when they weren't close enough to reach out and smack him in the back of the head.

"Just getting your weigh-in on a conversation you missed because you were rubbing nasties with eggheads."

"I'm sure that sentence made sense in some universe."
(Originally written for the cap_ironman's Winter Fic Exchange. I am very late posting it here. Sorry for those of you seeing this twice!)

Title: Merrier the More
Recipient: penumbren
Universe: MCU
Rating: PG for swearing
Warnings: cannon character death (though it's already happened off-screen); this is the prelude to a Tony/Rhodey/Steve threesome, currently featuring mostly Tony/Rhodey and Rhodey/Steve overtones; there is also the (to be expected) Tony/Steve but as this is Rhodey's POV it's more background
A/N: This was meant to be way more humorously light-hearted than it turned out. Instead, it sort of swings between seriousness and schmoop. Also, it turned out to be more of a missing scene than an extended timeline.
Many thanks to nightwalker for the beta!
Summary: Written from Prompt #1: As Steve becomes a bigger part of Tony's life, he, Tony, and Rhodey all have to make adjustments. (Rhodey helps put New York City back together and meets some of Tony's new friends.)

Links: AO3 | tumblr | or just click on the cut ^_^

Rhodey meets Captain America for the first time in the rubble of a ruined building in New York.Collapse )
04 January 2013 @ 12:39 pm
Remember when we used to take quizes and post results and be like HAHAHAHA I TESTED AS PIKACHU! Who misses those times? No one? WELL I'M POSTING THIS ANYWAY. Mostly because I think it's slightly more accurate than the first one I took which claimed that I was very concerned with being on time and organization. I don't remember the actual result, I just remember being like "HA HA HAHAHA NO."

I think the heavy emphasis on FINDING YOUR SOULMATE in the second paragraph is because this site is actually a dating site, maybe? I'm not sure; I've mostly been using it to take random quizes. If anyone is curious about my Dwarf identity, I am aparently Ori, the cute young one with a slingshot and a scarf!

INFJ - the counselor

You scored 45% I to E, 32% N to S, 14% F to T, and 42% J to P!

Your type is best summed up by the word "counselor", which belongs to the larger group of idealists. Only 2% of the population share your type. You are so empathic that you often know what others need before they know themselves. You are a complex person who can deal with complicated issues and people, almost prefer to, as you love problem solving. You can be something of an idealist or perfectionist, and should try to take yourself a little less seriously.

You are a supportive and insightful romantic partner, encouraging your mate to have dreams and work hard to make those dreams come true. Because you are so creative, you have a wealth of ideas to help them toward those goals. You need harmony so much that you are driven to resolve conflict quickly, as long as the terms don't violate your ethics. You feel the most appreciated when your partner admires your creativity, trusts your inspirations, and respects your values. It is also vitally important that your partner be open and emotionally available - in other words, that they be willing to share themselves completely.

Your type summary: INFJ

Some things:
a) Does this sound right? I never know how honest I'm being when I take these tests. Sometimes I think other people should take these for you because a lot of times how you perceive yourself is not now others have actually seen you behave.
b) Only 2% of the population? REALLY? *suddenly feels lonely*
23 November 2012 @ 04:25 pm
So, in conclusion: canned ingredients are not as good as fresh ones. No surprise. The yams were not bad, but, sadly, the green beans are disappointing. Canned green beans just have a very distinct flavor that overpower the other flavors which are much more delicate. Ah, well. It's still edible!

On the other hand, my turkey is good and my gravy ROCKS. Sadly, of all the things I wanted to turn out well, I think the gravy was the one lowest on the list. Ah, well. Lessons for next year!

Kelly's potatoes were garlicy and delicious and I LOVED the apple crisp. She made it with actual apples! Not from a packet! Also, Riggs likes apples, who knew? Willow, not so much. A lot of times I think she eats things just so that Riggs can't have them, but the look on her face is one of determined disgustedness.

Also, Kelly spent the latter part of the evening digging Christmas decorations out the dark recesses of the Zombie closet, so now there's a tree up in the guest room! With lights on! It's impressive! Also, she's trying to convince me that we should put up more lights and like DECORATE and things, but I haven't decided if I'm going to participate or just sit back and reap the rewards after everything is already in place.

Family, Fandom, JobCollapse )

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE! I love you! I'm grateful to have you in my life. :-D I hope everyone had a lovely day, and if not, I hope you got through it with minimal scarring.
22 November 2012 @ 09:30 pm
So, usually I take some time out during the Turkey Day post to talk to Family and Job and Fandom, but I was trying to plan ahead and got stuck on what to say about my job, and then I thought about all the things I've learned about boobs since I started working for a plastic surgeon that I thought might be useful for people to know--things that no one ever talks about, but every assumes everyone else knows, and a lot of preconceived notions that I've always thought that were wrong.

So is that okay for everyone? If not, now is a good time to look away and scroll quickly.


1.) 30% of women will/do sag. This does not have to do with age. Most people who are inclined to sag sag from pretty much the get-go. This does not make your breasts weird. That's just how they are. If you have saggy breasts, they also likely developed very early. I don't actually know why that is, but it seems to be the case. The two points of a woman's life in which she will likely sag are during puberty or during pregnancy. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH AGE. Your sag might be more appear more noticeable with age, but it's a genetic thing and you were always predisposed to sag if you sag at any point in your life. If you do not sag you will likely never sag barring large fluctuations in weight or some other hormonal change that causes excess of estrogen.

2.) 70% of women have stretch marks. NOTHING GETS RID OF THEM. (This also goes for scars and bruises.) Again, most stretch marks appear during puberty or pregnancy. Estrogen: it's a fucking bitch.

3.) Humans have a milk line like animals (think cats, who develop nipples all the way down). Our breasts can develop at any point along that line. That's why one breast can be attached to the chest wall at a literally different point. One breast can be higher than the other. No, you're not weird, either. That's normal.

4.) Bra sizes ARE RELATIVE and scaled to PROPORTION. If you are a 36C and cannot find a bra that fits you, try a 34D or a 38B. If it's the same bra/manufacturer, your the cup size should be the same. Go down a band size, go up a cup size. Conversely, go up a band size go down a cup size. Because manufacturers figure that your C-cup breast on a body that fits a 34 band is going to be smaller, proportionately, on a larger person.

5.) Also, on a related note, the # of that mysterious bra equation is supposed to be the size around your ribs. Like, that may have been really obvious to some people, but it was not to me for a very long time.

6.) Bra sizes are really arbitrary. Like, REALLY. I realized while working at a plastic surgeon that this is probably something we chesty women understand a lot sooner because we have to struggle with the fit of a bra way more often. I have ornery boobs that have VERY specific fitting needs and punish me for any wrong decisions I make on the matter. People with less mass to wrestle into the cup-of-choice probably don't realize just HOW arbitrary bra sizes are.

7.) On a side subject, those people who measure you in stores? They're measuring you for the bras THEY CARRY. And since bra sizes are arbitrary (see above for a mini-rant) the measurements you receive from these people cannot be carried to another store/bra line. So, it's fine if you get measured, but just be aware that it is not an absolute.

8.) Victoria Secret sizes their bras way larger (smaller?) than anywhere else. If you are a C at Victoria Secret, you're likely a B or smaller everywhere else.

9.) One boob will likely be larger than the other. This is sort of low down the list because I think most people know this...? But if you don't, trust me, I've seen A LOT of boobs, and I know that over half of women are built like that. I don't have an exact percentage, though.

10.) No matter how small you think your breasts are, trust me, I've seen smaller. And larger. And saggier, and more weirdly disproportionately shaped.

I think that's it, for now. I might add to this list as I think of more things.